My oldest son turns 13 in a couple months. I've been trying to think of something special to do, but all the normal options seem so unfitting of such an important birthday. For years, even before I had a child, I've thought that our culture is missing a rite of passage into adulthood. I've wondered whether the fact that we aren't given a distinct end to childhood and a welcome into adulthood is the cause of a lot of teenage angst. The changes that we go through both physically and mentally are great - too great to deal with on our own. Girls are told that their periods are shameful and should be hidden from the world at large at all cost. Their friends are all filled with the same shame and often the women in their lives are, too. I always said if I had a girl, I'd have a huge party inviting all of the adult women in her life to celebrate her first period. We could all tell her our own stories of shame, of fear, of embarrassment


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These ceremonies were performed to facilitate or mark a change in status of the boy into a man. This period known as adolescence or the teenage years is now seen as a significant time of change for both young people and their parents. It is these elements that make adolescence so challenging. This also coupled with our growing understanding that this transition period, particularly for the brain, is a lot longer than previously thought. In fact it has been suggested that part of anti-social teenage behavior seen today is due to the lack some kind of ceremonious way of supporting this transition for young people outside the family setting. Young people need to push at boundaries and conflict is normal during this stage of development. Physically your teenager can do more or less everything an adult can do but because his brain and body is still not fully developed he may struggle with coordinating what he can do physically with his emotional immaturity. With increased independence and expectations from parents, peers, schools and society sometimes it can be forgotten that they are still children. Generally these days the onset of puberty for most young people will have begun by the time they actually reach their teenage years.
Teenagers (13-18 years)
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When should she be allowed to shave her legs? Wear a bra? Wear makeup?